Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!