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When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
My therapist says I should quit talking to myself.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues