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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
Someday, somewhere, somehow Iām going to do something.
I changed siri to a male voice and now my car keeps taking me to strip clubs and auto parts stores
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."
drinks well with others.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.