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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.