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If your dog takes a dump on your floor and you clean it up, who owns who??
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
I couldn’t believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!