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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?