Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.