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Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
Note to Self: Next time I leave my wife a message that I`m in a threesome all afternoon, specify it`s golf.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
If you ever disappeared while hiking, Iād remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers