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Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
My email notification is a cricket sound that drives the wife crazy looking for the cricket. Winning!
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
How long does it take to get obsessed?