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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.