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I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
Mondays are middle finger approved
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now