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Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."