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Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps