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You left a note on the fridge saying "This isn`t working. Goodbye" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don`t get it.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
why me is me ?
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Waitress: `Do u have any questions about the menu?` Me: `What kind of font is this?`
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned