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If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.