Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I’m dedicating this status update to all the status-less people out there. Stay strong.