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The only thing I love more than cake is cakes.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.