Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
You know what would make this Vodka & cranberry better? The Bahamas.
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.