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Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.