Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.