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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.