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Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
That moment when you realize the object of #WeightWatchers is NOT see who can score the most points...
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.