Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.