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You notice how no faith-healers have stepped forward to help out with the ebola crisis in Africa......
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.