Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.