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I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.