Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.