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Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them