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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
My favorite beer is an open one.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
Statistically: 1 in 7 dwarfs are grumpy
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.