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I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
Your personality needs alcohol.
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.