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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
Not All Of The `Goodbyes` Are Sad (eg. * Goodbye School * Goodbye Work)
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like