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Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.