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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
Sometimes in life, all you really need is a lot of money.