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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.