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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.