Daily Silly Status

Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.

Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.

Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!

No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.

why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?

The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.

Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.

It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.

This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.

Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.

Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.

Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?

Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.

I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.