Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married, right?
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.