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It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.