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I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
My innocent look never works in the nude.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.