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If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
Is Nudeism a religion?
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!