Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.