Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

never be afraid to wipe twice
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
I can sum up my life in three words: β€œjust browsing, thanks.”
I hate when I’m alone in the dark and my brain says, β€œHey, you know what we haven’t thought about in a while? Ghosts..”
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.