Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.