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Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
really vry funny
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly