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My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction.
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.