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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%