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Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
I hate when I’m alone in the dark and my brain says, “Hey, you know what we haven’t thought about in a while? Ghosts..”
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.