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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.