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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
I hide my vodka in orange juice
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
So long pants! See you Monday!
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?