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When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.