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My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.