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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
The fastest way to get someone to call you back is to take a shower.
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
Do angry people know about naps?