Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office ā I will track you down. You have my Word.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
Sometimes I zone out and forget what Iām supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!