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twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !