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Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
I`m eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it`s six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I`m still better than you.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well