Daily Silly Status

Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.

I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.

Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?

That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive

There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.

If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.

New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.

Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.

I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....

I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.

I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.

Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.

I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you

Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!